I used to write with Neil Young songs playing on my record player while sitting on the floor with my back leaning against my bed. Neil would sing poetry-like songs and I would harmonize. His voice brought my teenage mixed up lost in space self a sliver of hope to hang onto.
I still have most of my albums from the 1970’s. I never stopped writing. But I no longer sing.
Somewhere, somehow, I lost my singing voice.
There are many things I lost over my lifetime that just slipped away when I wasn’t paying attention. I had a friend from high school who pushed me away without any reason, leaving me to wonder what I did. I must have done something bad but she never told me what it was.
I made so many mistakes and bad decisions up until my late 30’s when I got up the courage to get control of the mayhem. The only good that came from being lost was how those lessons support me in crisis situations now.
It’s true that some of us are tough because we were not sheltered from life.
Someday I might even sing again.
For now, I write and think how lucky I am to have grown up at all.